It sits on your home screen, reads your payment alerts and judges you right after you pay. Free to build. No coding.
Here's what happens the moment you tap pay at the café.
Your bank texts you, like always.
It spots the coffee and texts you.
Your phone puts it on the widget.
Everything is free except Instinct, which is invite-only. I have 50 invites to give away.
Copy, paste, done. The AI writes the hard part.
Chat with Instinct on iMessage if you have an iPhone, WhatsApp if Android. Send this:
Roast me every time I spend money on coffee. Setup: tell me exactly which accounts to connect so you can see my bank SMS, UPI alerts and email receipts, and walk me through connecting them. Coffee = any payment to a cafe or coffee brand (e.g. Starbucks, Third Wave, Blue Tokai) or a food-app order that is mostly coffee. Within a minute of each coffee spend, send ONE message in exactly this format: PENGUIN: <roast> Roast rules: max 20 words; mention amount, place and my coffee total this month; savage about spending, never about looks or family. Only coffee roasts start with PENGUIN: Send a test roast now.
penguin.png in Files › iCloud Drive › Scriptable.Write a Scriptable (iOS) script called Penguin with two modes: 1. Run from a Shortcut with text input (args.shortcutParameter): save the text to roast.txt in Scriptable's iCloud folder, then finish. 2. Run as a home screen widget: show penguin.png from the same folder on the left and the latest roast from roast.txt on the right. Bold white text, dark background, works in small and medium sizes. If there is no roast yet, show "No coffee yet. Suspicious." Download files from iCloud before reading them. Give me only the final code.
Penguin.Penguin.PENGUIN:. Pick Run Immediately.Penguin, parameter: Shortcut Input.penguin.png.I'm not technical. Give me exact tap-by-tap steps on Android using only the free apps Automate (LlamaLab) and KWGT: 1. Automate flow: when a WhatsApp notification from "Instinct" contains "PENGUIN:", send the notification text to KWGT with a broadcast. 2. KWGT widget: show penguin.png on the left and the latest roast text on the right, read from that broadcast. Give the exact block names, broadcast action and extras, and the KWGT formula. Keep the flow under 30 blocks.
Text Instinct "send me a test roast". If the penguin talks back, you're done. Stuck? Paste this into the same AI chat:
My penguin isn't updating. Here's what I see: [describe it or attach a screenshot]. Tell me the single most likely fix first.
Two ways in.
Drop your email and I'll send you one.
Works only if the café name shows up in your payment SMS. Check 3 of yours first.
Change the setup: instead of messages from Instinct, trigger on any SMS that contains one of these words: [cafe words from my bank SMS]. Instead of using the message text, pick a random roast from this list: - Another coffee? Your savings account just filed a missing person report. - At this rate the cafe should give you a desk. - You have a kettle at home. It misses you. - Congratulations, you are now the cafe's biggest investor. Give me the updated steps only.